Being totally honest with you all, recently, life's been tough. I've been going through, well, a lot and it's been crappy. You know those times in your life when you feel like nothing is ever going to go right again? When you look at your circumstances and wonder how you're ever going to get out of it? That's where I've been recently. There have been some dark thoughts going through my head. I've been thinking things that I am continually telling other people that they shouldn't be thinking because they're so much better than that.
I feel like I'm barely holding on. Life just seems to be a struggle of trying to make it to the next rest stop so you can slow down and catch your breath before everything else catches up and whips you to keep going.
Recently, I went back and read some of my old journals. I've kept one since I was seven. I went back and saw all of the times when I was in so much pain, thinking I was never going to get through. And you know what?
I've made it through every single time.
The fact that I'm here writing this is living proof of that. The time when I got my heart broken and then felt ashamed of my feelings towards the guy for so many years I can barely count them? I moved on and am now stronger because of it. That time when one of my best friends completely ignored me and wanted nothing to do with me? I've forgiven her and can honestly say that I wish her all the best in her life. When I would cry myself to sleep at night because my parents would fight in the room next to me and I would wonder if things were ever going to get better? I've learned that people are imperfect and that even when we hurt each other, if we love each other, we'll do whatever we can to make it right.
Even though I'm in a crappy spot right now, I can look back at all the times I was in an equally crappy spot and see that I've made it through. In fact, I've not just made it through, I've been a stronger, better person because of some of the crap.
It's like the analogy used in the Hannah Montana movie (yes I'm quoting Hannah Montana, don't judge). Life's like a mountain, it's a climb. You have times when you're barely holding on, barely able to climb a little higher. Then you get to a platform and look out at what you've climbed. Your view is so much greater and you can see so much more.
The idea of this post is not to gain your sympathy, rather to hopefully say to those in crappy places, "You've made it this far. Don't give up. You can keep going and you have the ability to do great things. You will make it through this crappy spot."
Life's a climb, but the view is great.
Song of the Day
I thought it was only appropriate. :)