Nothing Happened

Nothing happened.

I hate this phrase so much.

It’s just so full of hidden meaning, things that aren’t out in the open. Because if you have to clarify that “nothing happened”, it means that someone was expecting something to happen. And there’s so much that actually happens behind a “nothing happened”.

He stares at you, makes you uncomfortable. He leers and you wish you could escape, run from his gaze. He chuckles and you feel uncomfortable. You point him out to someone, and they look over.

“Did he do anything besides stare?”

“No, nothing actually happened.”

You’ve been fighting so much. Tonight was going to be the night that you guys made up, became friends again. You miss her, you guys haven’t talked in ages. But she ignores you, doesn’t look at you. Someone says she doesn’t want to talk to you.

“What happened? Did you guys make up? Are you guys okay now?”

“No. Nothing happened.”

Your parents are fighting all the time. They scream and yell at each other. The house is always full of tension, underlying currents of acid stream through the atmosphere. You tell your friends about how nasty things are at home.

“Does he hit her? Are they getting a divorce?”

“No, nothing really happened. They’re just fighting.”

You like him. You think he likes you. Everyone thinks you two would work great together. Every time you guys hang out there’s so much not being said, so much that is lying just beneath the surface. Every time your eyes meet, it’s charged. Your banter borders on something that’s not “just friends”. People wait with baited breath, waiting for something to happen between the two of you. But you and he grow apart; you stop talking.

“Did anything ever happen between you?”

“No, nothing happened.”

I hate “nothing happened.” Because something always happens.

Film Camp

Hello Lovelies!!

If you remember, a few posts ago, I talked about my genius realization that I should go into film, as I love writing and working with a camera. Well, shortly after I posted that post, I signed up for film camp in Toronto and two weeks ago, I actually went. Le gasp! Sarah interacting with other humans! Le gasp!

It was such an amazing experience. I typically find it really hard to be with other humans for an extended period of time as I get really tired, but at the end of these eight hour days, I left the group of twenty six feeling energized and inspired. I got to work with amazing people and amazing equipment and it completely confirmed the fact that I should go into film.

Ten points to you if you can spot me.

Every day we did one or two little films and then attended workshops with guest professionals (one was the writer and producer of Orphan Black, another had shot music videos with Drake and was scheduled to film a movie with Donald Sutherland, another had just finished directing and writing her first full length movie, you get the gist).

We were split up on the first day into groups and in our little groups, we were to come up with an idea for a short film, write a script and then shoot and edit it. This was my group's movie. I got to write and direct some of it and act in a bunch of it as the main girl. Just a warning, my acting is not great. In fact, it's pretty terrible. The funny thing about this camp was that everyone was so much more comfortable behind the camera, so no one really wanted to act. Therefore, I was stuck with the job. I am not an actor. Don't judge. But enjoy. Because I really enjoyed making it.

It was an amazing experience and definitely one of the high lights of my year.

Can't You See That It's Just Raining?

Your rubber boots are a little tighter than you remember. They chafe your ankles as you tug them on over your jeans. You haven't worn them in at least a year. Maybe more.

The thunder booms outside and the percussion of the rain hits your window. The drops stream down the glass and your heart beats in excitement.

The open text books lie on the table, a half filled notebook beside them. You had an exam next monday. You didn't care. It was the first rainfall and you needed to get out.

Giggling as you throw open the door, you run outside, deliriously happy.

"What are you doing?" Your friend calls incredulously from inside the doorway. "It's pouring buckets! At least grab an umbrella."

No, not this time.

The rain falls like the notes of a melody on paper and you lift your face towards the grey sky and laugh. It's wonderful, the warm drops hitting you face, brushing through your hair.

"Come out and join me!" You call back to the house with a grin.

"What? Are you crazy?"

"Yes," you shout cheerfully, throwing you arms wide as if you embrace an old friend, "in the best way!"

"If I catch pneumonia and die, I'm coming to haunt you." And with that, reluctant footsteps can be heard squishing into the wet ground. Your friend squeals as she runs towards you. She shoves you and soon, you're both laughing. You feel six years old again.

And suddenly, as if something has possessed you, as if something has taken hold of your heart, as if the rain's melody has cast a spell over you, you begin to dance, your face upturned and your arms wide.

You twirl with the drops, skip with the water, dance with the storm. And your heart feels free. And you realize how much you'd missed this. It's been so long since you danced in the rain.

(A/N: Funny story, this little blurb was actually inspired by the tweet by Marianas Trench which read "Rained like crazy in our home town last night. We needed that. Been so long since I've danced in the rain.")

I'll be there for youuuu...

Hello Lovelies!!

*SPOILER ALERT*

I've just reached the end of Friends for the first time and I refuse to believe that there was actually an end. It can't just end. It couldn't have just ended! I need to see Chandler and Monica's babies grow up! I need to see if Ross and Rachel get married (again)! I need to see if Joey ends up with anyone besides his chick and duck! Aghhhhhh!

So, in the spirit of stubbornly refusing to believe that this show is over, this post is dedicated to all things Friends. A collective of GIFS and my favourite moments and pictures, etc. And if you never read My Life In Gifs post, you should know that Rachel Green and I are kinda kindred spirits.

And you can't tell me that part of you didn't squeal just a bit inside when this happened...

And I love this line...

Let's not forget the brilliantness of Pheebs

The show was amazing and brilliant and if you haven't watched it, what are you doing with your life? I love the characters and the writing was genius and I don't want it to be over. Even though it ended like ten years ago. Yes, I'm slightly behind on the times. 

We Made It

School. Co-op. Drama. Tears. Laughter. Late night bonfires. Exams. Parents. Stressing over the little things. Fighting. Games. Movies.

High school.

Guys, we made it.

We made it through what people say are some of the hardest years of our lives.

We made it.

We made it through the exams. The pressures. The seemingly constant drama.

And I'm so proud of you both.

I'm proud and honoured to have been your friends. To watch you grow and turn into awesome people. To get to know you as you changed and grew. You're both amazing. You're both gifted in different ways. You're both kind and I'm so happy to have had you both in my life.

And I'm excited to see what's in store for you next. Whether you're off to a different country or just to a different city, I have no doubt you're going to have an impact.

We have our lives ahead of us, like a blank slate, like a winding road, like a clear blue sky. Let's go do something with it. Let's go make something of ourselves. Let's go make a difference. Let's be the best we can be.

I'll miss you both. I'll miss seeing you at Co-op and having the ability to get together so easily. And I hope that this isn't the end of our friendship, but just another step of the journey.

Good luck in the future. Go live an amazing life.

Oh Canada

Hello Lovelies!!

So Canada D'eh (I crack myself up) was a few days ago. We had a roast and games night with some of our friends and it was lovely. The weather wasn't hot but it was super sunny and that made it the perfect weather for a BBQ. And me being me, I lugged my camera around with me for most of the night. So have some super Canadian pictures.

We started things off with some appetizing appetizers, none of which were particularly "Canadian". Olives, pesto, crisps, roasted peppers and guacamole (made by yours truly).

Some people decided to start up a croquet game in the backyard.

My friend's Dad, Carl, studying
the field.

Jason: "Should I just hit his ball into the bushes?"
Carl: "But that's not fair! He shouldn't get to send me away.
I spent so long getting here."

The croqueters. 

Jason being, well, Jason.

After croquet, we gathered to eat and chat.

There were many laughs.

Om nom nom.

Tis a thing of beauty, I tell you.

The group shot.

The lighting was so pretty here, so I just had to take a
picture.

Ditto.

Oh Canada... the true north, strong and free.

Rebecca on the right, Klara on the left.

As the evening moved along, people moved inside for games. Half of us played Apples to Apples and half decided to play Settlers.

Then came the best part of the evening: fireworks.

All in all, it was a beautiful day to celebrate my beautiful country.

My Life in Gifs

Hello Lovelies,

Yes. Yes, I am doing the "my life in gifs" tag...

Yes, I am a little lazy. It is summer. I'm allowed.

I couldn't narrow it down to 10, so you get 15.

And yes, I like Rachel Green. She may or may not be kind of my soul mate.

Happy Canada Day to any fellow Canadians out there! :)