52 Thoughts I Had While Rewatching Disney's Pinocchio

Hello Lovelies!

I'd like to start this post off by saying that I hadn't seen Pinocchio in over five years when I watched it... it's a little different than I remembered it. So, without further adieu, here is my train of thought during Pinocchio.

1. Why does Jiminy Cricket have a hillbilly accent? Isn't Pinocchio German?

2. Why did Geppetto give Pinocchio no mouth?

3. Ahh, he's painting on the mouth. Never mind.

4. Ooh, the fish and the cat don't like the name Pinocchio.

5. Geppetto really needs some company.

6. How is the fish so pretty? It's not fair, she's a fish!

7. Ah yes, an alarm clock where the alarm noise is a child screaming while his mother spanks him. Lovely. 

8. That pipe is literally as long as your arm, Geppetto. I'm concerned.

9. The cat is me. I am literally this cat. 

10. I'm pretty sure the Blue Fairy is just Snow White with blonde hair.

11. Geppetto, go back to bed. 

12. How are two foxes walking around and no one notices? Yet people notice Pinocchio is wooden...

13. I'm convinced the cat wants to be human and that's why he's jealous of Pinocchio.

14. For being a conscience, Jiminy's not very noble or good.

15. Lol, the cat/lion/fox/human thing is so stupid.

16. Yeah Pinocchio, don't be an actor. There's no money in that. Go to school.

17. How has Pinocchio become so famous in like 30 seconds?

18. Poor Pinocchio. All these girls want him and he looks terrified. 

19. The show runner just locked Pinocchio in a cage!

20. And now he's twerking. This is not good. 

22. The dolls are hanging by their necks and the lightning keeps flashing on their smiling faces. This is creepy. How is this a children's movie?

23. Poor Geppetto. He's all alone in his bathrobe in the rain trying to find his son.

24. How does a puppet blow his nose? What does he get? Splinters instead of boogers?

25. Ooh. Pinocchio's in trouble now. The Blue Fairy wants to know why Pinocchio didn't go to school.

26. How did his nose grow birds? Maybe he gets birds instead of boogers.

27. Ooh. His coins are bigger than the show runner/director's. Take his, fox people.

28. Did the man just say he's collecting stupid little boys? 

29. This is so not a children's movie.

30. Let me get this right. He's collecting stupid boys to take to a place called Pleasure Island where they never come back as boys. Please tell me I'm not the only one whose mind is going some place it shouldn't.

31. Pinocchio! Don't go to Pleasure Island; you won't be able to go school... I'm sensing a theme here. 

32. So Pleasure Island is basically a big carnival with free drinks and cakes.... can I go to Pleasure Island?

33. "Come here and smoke your heads off!" Who decided this was an appropriate movie for children?

34. "You buttered your bread, now sleep in it." I don't think that's how that phrase goes Jiminy.

35. The stupid-boy-collecting man is turning the stupid boys into donkeys. Okay. That's not what I was expecting. 

36. The real question is, why are there no girls here? Answer, because girls aren't this stupid apparently.

37. Oh, we're in trouble. Pinocchio's turning into a donkey. 

38. This is horrifying.

39. Finally. Go home Pinocchio. 

40. Where's Geppetto?

41. Oh, he was swallowed by a whale. Of course. I should have seen that coming. 

42. Pinocchio's going to drown himself to find the whale at the bottom of the sea. Right. That's logical.

43. Now he's dragging the rock that sunk him around with him. Is this supposed to be symbolic?

44. Aww, the sea horses are so cute!

45. "I never though it would end this way. Starving to death in the belly or a whale." I can't imagine many people would think it would end that way, Geppetto. 

46. They're literally making a fire in the belly of the whale just for the purpose of making it sneeze so they can get out. How stupid are these people? Why is the whale not burning on the inside? So many questions!

47. Oh. The whale's having a sneezing fit. This isn't good. The whale's the size of the hotel. 

48. "Oh no! Now he hates me!" Well if you wanted him to like you Geppetto, maybe you shouldn't have set your boat on fire in his belly. Not the best way to make friends.

49. No! Pinocchio's dead (although I'm a little confused as to how. Can't he breathe underwater?)

50. Oh please! You're going to save him? He hasn't been selfless, brave or true! He's been a brat.

51. Yeah, yeah, Pinocchio's alive. We get it.

52. Awww, Jiminy's got his gold badge. Good for him.

Well.

That was something.

A little different than I remember.

Okay, a lot different than I remember.

Moral of the story: Stay in school kids.

Up next: Bambi

Swanfire Forever

Hello Lovelies,

I like stories. I'm sure that's no surprise to you all by now. I love the characters and the way they interact and develop throughout the story. And of course, I love the relationships.

Now, I have many favourite pairings.

Anne and Gilbert...

Katniss and Gale...

Kevin and Jane...

But my current all time favourite is Emma and Neal. Swanfire. (Spoilers for season three ahead. If you want to skip my ramble, but still want Swanfire feels, head to the bottom. There's my fan edit video down there. ^^)

*SPOILERS FOR SEASON THREE*

They're just so incredible! They have this intense past that makes them wary of love and trusting anyone. Then they create a deep history together. Then they meet each other eleven years later as broken, hurting people and realize that they're still completely in love with each other. And that terrifies Emma. The idea of loving the same guy that messed up her life earlier, even if he thought he was doing the right thing, is a frightening prospect. And for him, he feels hopeless. He knows he's done wrong by her. He can see the weight of his actions weighing on her shoulders. But he still loves her. 

Then he "dies" and Emma is left grieving even more than the first time he left her. The first time he left, she was mad and angry and had sworn never to see him again. It was completely over in her mind. When they met again, hope and fear began to spring up inside her. Maybe it wasn't over. Maybe they had a chance. Maybe they could make things right. Maybe she was completely terrified that she still loved him after all this time. When he died, not only did she grieve over him, but over the chance that they had and then lost. She had spent eleven years thinking he didn't love her, only to learn that he had loved her, deeply, but wanted to do the right thing. The grief is mixed with a different kind of anger. More of a "what if?" kind of anger.

While Neal is "dead", she reaches out to other places, trying to fill the gaping hole that he left. She needs something to fill it. She's been with Neal again and it's only grown the pain and need for something in her life. Here, we see her with Hook.

I'm sorry Captain Swan shippers, but it is my firm opinion that to Emma, for a good portion of the beginning of their relationship, Hook was an attempt to fill a hole. I don't think Emma really had any strong feelings towards him until some time into season four.  

It's funny, because Neal does the same thing with Emma. He has Tamara, who he tells Emma he "needs". It's my humble opinion that he's also trying to fill a hole. He can't have Emma, so he reaches out for anything that will numb the pain. 

     Echo Cave changed a lot in the dynamic of their relationship. For the first time since they met again, Emma is transparent with him, telling him exactly how she feels. I know she told Neal she loved him a few episodes earlier, but I think there's a really big difference between the two occasions. The first time, he was about to die. She didn't have to face any consequences of her confession. He would be gone. This time, she is telling him she loves him knowing that there will most likely be ramifications later. 

     After Neal gets out of his prison, he makes the bold declaration that he's never going to stop fighting for her, ever. He knows she loves him, he knows she's scared, and he knows that he's going to have to fight hard to win her trust back.

And this is where the writers did two horrible things wrong. They put Emma with Hook and they killed Neal. And I can't believe they did either. In my mind, Emma and Neal should have been end game. They'd been through so much and come so far, it seems unfair, cruel even, to have them not end up together. For heaven's sakes! They have a child together! Even if the writers had to stick Hook and Emma together, why did they have to kill Neal? It's just cruelty.

Anywho! If you've skipped my rant, my video is below.

Is anyone else really excited for season five to start??

Also! My sister Victoria and I have started up a book blog over at Sparrow and Acorn: Book Reviews if you want to check it out.

A Rant on Playerish People

Hello Lovelies,

It's been a bit since I've done a rant and I definitely have something to rant on. Just allow me to get my giant megaphone and the rocks I intend to throw...

Alright, so, for people who've been following me for a bit know that I am not really someone who's good around guys. Particularly guys who could have any sort of interest in me, or guys I might potentially have an interest in (see 50 Shades of Awkward or Secretly, I'm Anna for perfect examples of this). So it should come as no surprise that around players, I'm fairly clueless. Then when I reailze what's happening, I get rather frustrated. Yes, this rant is inspired by a specific person.

First, why? Why the heck do you guys have the need to make others uncomfortable in this arena? Any interest girls end up having in you is going to be based on absolutely nothing but your slimy, charming, manipulative ways. And then as soon as you "win", you're going to lose, because she's gonna see what a knotty-pated canker-blossom you are. Or you're going to break her heart when she realizes you're using her.

Second, why is it attractive to some people to play people that they know well? You know the hot buttons and what's going to get them riled up. It's no challenge. You can have them wrapped around your finger in a minute. So why do you feel the need? Is it because you feel you've lost your touch, so you go to someone you can easily get a reaction from? I don't get it. I'd would have thought players would want to pick someone who'd be a challenge, someone who they'd have to work at to get a response from.

Third, generally now, do people realize how dehumanizing this is? Playing someone? The very name of it is horrible. You are literally playing someone like a game. Like they mean the same to you as a game of cards that you're trying to win. That's it. The only thing you're using them for is your own benefit. Do you not see how harmful this can be to the other person? You don't actually care about them, because if you did, you wouldn't be treating them like this, with no regard for their emotions. You're wrapping their feelings up in a big knot and then handing it back to them with a smirk, a wink and the shallow satisfaction of knowing that you've got them riled up.

Fourth, specifically to this person, why do you think that I'm not going to notice? Yeah, you're subtle and can deny it. Yeah, you're good at what you do, but I can count them number of girls you've done this to in the past. I've watched you. I've seen what you do and how you coax the blushing and giggles from them. Do you really think I'm not going to see? I'll hand it to you, you're good. Yeah, you've managed to get a reaction, but the smirks and charm and flirting has conjured nothing but a surface response. Somehow, unbeknownst to me, you manage to get the blushing and stammering from me, but believe me when I say, this whole thing has done nothing but secure your position as an insecure, unfeeling guy in my mind. Slowly, you're being replaced by Joey Donner. Congrats to you.

In conclusion, don't play with people or they will rant about you on their blog and then dream about ways of dumping all the discomfort, annoying heart palpitations and frustration over your head.

Fine

"How are you?"
"Fine."
Fine?
Fine?
I didn't realize 'fine'
Meant crying at night,
While listening to your parents fight
In the next room over,
Hearing their voices rise in anger,
Then fall in silent rage,
While the tears slip down your cheeks.

Fine?
I didn't know 'fine' was when
You lived your life
Not knowing where the next meal came from,
Hoping there would be food,
When you got home,
Praying
Tonight would be the last night
Of hunger
And the first night
Of happiness.

You're fine?
I'm sorry,
I didn't think that 'fine'
Meant your life was a broken down house,
Full of promises
You're still waiting to see fulfilled,
Full of dreams
You desperately hope will come true.

"How are you?"
"Good."
Says the girl
Whose makeup covers the pain
From the insults,
Taunts and
Names
Drawn across her face,
Like a knife drawn against soft flesh.

"Good."
Says the boy
Who has everything but happiness,
Whose parents' dreams for him
Stretch to the sky in their minds,
Hell in his.
His dreams are labelled as failure,
Insignificant,
Not important,
Stupid.

"Good."
Says the teen,
Whose white and red scars marked
On his arm
Stretch from his body
To his mind.
His value,
Nothing.
His status,
Nothing.
His dreams,
Nothing.
He wants to be
Nothing.
He doesn't even want to be here anymore.

"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just tired."
No,
'Tired' is when you
Stayed up to late watching movies.
'Tired',
Is when you go to bed
At 3 am,
Just finished your assignment.
'Tired' is not
Living everyday numb,
Watching the world go by,
Not caring,
If you're there to see it.
'Tired' is not
Working so hard,
Trying desperately to prove
You're worth something,
Trying to show the world,
You're not what they called you
In high school.
Idiot.
Failure.
Screw-up.

"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Good."
"Just tired."

Lies.

It seems we just can't win.

Hello Lovelies!

I'm assuming that 99%, if not all, of my readers are fellow females. So from one girl to another I want to ask, does it seem to you that no matter how hard we try, we're always wrong?

I know everyone tells us to just be ourselves, don't try to fit society's standards, we were meant to stand out etc. etc. And I agree with this wholeheartedly.

But at the same point in time, there seems to be no "good" true to yourself.

Let me try and explain.

If a girl is curvy, she's "fat" or a "pig".
If a girl is slim, she's "skinny," a "twig" or "toothpick".

If a girl goes for a more natural look, she's "ugly" or a "hot mess".
If a girl puts effort into her appearance, she's "fake".

If a girl is kind, she's a "suck up" or "teacher's pet".
If a girl speaks her mind, she's a "bitch".

If a girl wears long dresses and covers herself, she's "frigid".
But if she wears shorts and a tank top, she's a "slut".

If a girl has standards, she's "Missy Goody Two Shoes".
If she doesn't have many, she's a "hoe".

If we're emotional, we are told to "suck it up" and to "stop being such a girl".
But if we then try and hide our emotions, we're "cold" and "robotic".

There is something very, very wrong with this. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having whatever I do, be "wrong". I'm sick of being treated like somehow, I'm less than everybody else.

Because I'm not.

You're not.

We're not less than everyone.

We're different but that, in no way, makes us less.

What's awful is that this name calling, this insulting, this judging, doesn't just come from guys. It comes from the other girls around us. Almost every girl I've talked to about this says that they've struggled with feeling like they aren't good enough, that they can't measure up, no matter what they do. Why, then, are we hurting each other? C'mon girls! We're all fighting this! We're all on the same side! Why do we have to put each other down? Why can't we all stand together rather than fight like it's every girl for themselves?

Now understand, I'm not trying to point a finger at anyone. Not guys, not girls. Instead, I want to point out the ridiculous amount pressure that is being put on girls by our society to be inexplicably perfect. It seems to be something that we've just accepted as being normal.

I don't remember where, but I saw something recently. One girl commented somewhere asking, "How can guys be so good looking without makeup?" That really brought this issue to my attention. Because somehow, we've decided that girls have to wear makeup to look good.

And within the past couple of weeks, I was out somewhere wearing leggings and a shirt, just walking into the grocery store and some guys drive by and shout out, "Nice ass!"

Let me tell you, I was this close to turning around and giving them a piece of my mind.

Another time when my cousin and I were down in Toronto, walking along one of the busy streets, a guy calls out, "What's a couple of pretty tarts like you doing walking by yourselves?"

It makes me sick.

I feel like I don't even count as a person.

Girls have somehow been turned into objects.

I really don't want to blame people, I don't want to become a crazy feminist who despises men. I don't want to become a hermit who avoids all contact with the outside world. I really, really want to change this. Cause I know I'm not the only one who deals with this and there have been girls who have  had to deal with situations much worse than me. But I can't do anything by myself. It has to be a group effort. We all have to come together to fight this image.

Picture of the Day

How are you? NOT

     Kay, so I was thinking about the question "How are you?" today and I got kinda frustrated. It seems like when people ask me how I am, or anyone how they are, they don't actually want to know. They're just making polite conversation. And if you actually tell someone how you are when you're really crappy, they back away slowly. Or even if you're really happy and you're telling them why you're really happy, they back away.

     Why ask the question if you don't want to know the answer? Like seriously, you're asking me what the state of my wellbeing is and expect me to answer with "good" or "tired". My state of wellbeing can almost never be summed up with "tired" or "good". And if I tell you that I've actually had a really bad day and am feeling down and hate life and just want to curl up with my Salt and Vinegar potato chips and watch Dr. Who or The Holiday, you don't know what to say and we have this super awkward pause in the conversation.

     I noticed this particularly with a friend of mine. She had been crying and going through a really rough time and I was listening to everything that was going crappy in her life. We got up to leave where we were sitting, she washed her face and we left. Then, right outside, we ran into someone who greeted her and asked her how she was doing. She smiled and responded that she was doing good. Then the lady smiled, told her that she was happy she was doing well and kept walking.

Seriously? You could tell that she had just been crying! And you're just going to keep walking?!

Are we truly that self centred that we don't even want to know how others are doing because we don't want to listen to their problems or comfort that?

And this whole issue with that question leads to two problems.

One, people act "good" because they feel like they can't be anything else. If they want people to like them, they must be happy and good and convinced that the world is wonderful. So they put on a smile when they're going through hell and try and make us all believe that they're fine. They desperately want to be liked and are convinced that if they actually acted how they were feeling, no one would.

Two, people truly don't care. They don't want to know how you're doing. They are selfishly focused on their own problems and are stuck feeling sorry for themselves. Sometimes people are so messed up and broken that they have a really hard time comforting others. I get that; there have been times when I haven't really wanted to listen to someone else's problem because my problems felt so huge that if someone else handed me their problems, I would crash. But if you "just don't care" or "don't have the time", something is wrong.

I'm fed up with this.

So today, I am deciding to do two things.

First, to stop acting. If people ask me how I am, I am going to tell them how I really am. If I am over the moon and so happy, I'll tell them. If I'm having a crappy day, I'll tell them. Not necessarily dump all my life problems on them, but at least inform them that no, I am not good. And if they back away slowly, so be it.

Second, to actually care. I want to listen to other's problems and have them feel like I'm a safe place to let go. When I ask people how they're doing and they tell me they're good, I want to be able to say, "No, really, how are you?" and actually listen to the answer.

Okay, I think I'm done my rant. It's safe to come out now. :)

Word of the Day

lollapalooza \lol-uh-puh-LOO-zuh\, noun:

An extraordinary or unusual thing, person, or event; an exceptional example or instance.