50 Shades of Awkward

Hello Lovelies,

It's story time with Sarah! Gather round to hear yet another incident that proves that Sarah should not be allowed out in public.

I was shelving at the library downstairs in the adult section just minding my own business. I was most likely singing Disney, being the lovely awkward person I am.

So I'm shelving my books when all of the sudden, I see the most beautiful guy ever walk in. I mean this guy was a slice of pumpkin pie. He looked like Zayn Malik, who in my mind is probably one of the best looking guys out there. It was like in those cheesy movies when the guy is in slow motion and he runs his fingers through his hair and smiles and there's music. Except the only music was the Disney song I was currently singing. Probably Hakuna Matata.

Let's make something very clear. You know those girls who flirt effortlessly and just seem to ooze confidence and... flirtiness? I am not one of them. So I was perfectly happy admiring him from afar.

But does he stay afar? Nooo, he walks right over to me and I inwardly hyperventilate.

I'm fairly sure my train of thought went something like this.

Is he walking towards me? Oh gosh he is. Oh wait, maybe he's going to walk past me. Ah crap he's coming closer. What am I wearing? Ah crap! I'm wearing a Sesame Street shirt. Why do I even care. Oh look, he's talking to me and I have no idea what he just said.

"What?" I say, hoping that my mouth isn't hung open and I'm not drooling on my shoes.

He doesn't miss a beat.

"Do you know the book '50 Shades of Grey'? He asks, maintaining his smile.

What?

"Yes?" I manage to reply.

"Is it a sexual book?"

"Yeah."

"Like how sexual?"

My brain has exploded and I'm unable to reply in anything more than one or two words. I am also rapidly starting to resemble a tomato.

"Umm, pretty sexual."

"Oh, so it's like an erotica." He's still smiling. At this point, my daze has started to clear and I'm wondering if he actually knows what the book is about and is just enjoying watching me squirm.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Can you help me find it? I'd like to read it."

This was probably the only moment in the entire year I've worked at the library that I wish I didn't. I desperately wanted to get out of the conversation but because I worked there, I had to go help Zayn Malik's look alike find 50 Shades of Grey.

So off we go! Through the nonfiction, DVDs, CDs and paperbacks to the other side of the library where the book is.

I'm walking pretty fast. but he's tall and I'm a hobbit so my genius plan of outwalking him didn't really work.

"So have you read it?"

My brain engine sputters again and comes to a stop.

"No." I was actually pretty proud of myself for not sounding like a mouse.

He stops and looks at me with this smirkish smirk on his really attractive face.

"Do you want to read it?"

"No!" Any accomplishment of not sounding like a mouse has been replaced with the mortification of sounding like I'm on helium.

I show him where the book is and bolt out of there.

Later I come back to where the book was, shelving in that section.

The stupid book is still there.

Darn you attractive, cocky, perverted person.


Lovely Post of the Day

Recently, the lovely blogger Andrea wrote a post on her blog that just amazed me with its honesty and realness and relatableness and I really wanted to share it all with you.
It's called I Wrote This For You.