(Do y'all like the new theme? Still not sure if I'm happy with it. Be prepared; it may change. Ten points if you can name where the background image is from)
I am officially done high school. Forever and ever. Amen. That was exhausting.
And I got early acceptance to one of my back up Universities.
And yesterday I got an interview to one of my first choice Universities AND I got accepted to a 5 month school I'm doing from March to July this year.
And I only have 33 more days before I officially move out. Like out of my house. To do.... adultly things.
Wow, that sounded much more inappropriate than I meant it too.
A month. That's really soon.
I'm excited and slightly terrified. But mostly excited.
Eep.
I'm just looking back at posts like Looking for a House in Neverland and realizing how far I've come. I'm an adult now. Like a legit, proper, legal, age of majority in Canada adult.
I don't have much time (read: none) to write a huge blog post right now, but I wanted to let you all know that I do still exist here on this blog. I'm still alive! And I miss writing on here a lot.
As anyone who's finishing up their last year in high school will tell you, January/February is an insane time, because, not only do you have the exams that will ultimately determine if you're going to get into University or College, but those pesky post-secondary applications are also due at the same time your exams happen. And if those applications are to an artistic program, you're also expected to submit a portfolio. Who decided this was such a genius idea? I mean really, are they trying to kill us.
Anywho, just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still alive and I haven't forgotten about this blog, and I am fully intending on returning to writing here (more) regularly in February. I'll be finished high school in a week.
If you remember, a few posts ago, I talked about my genius realization that I should go into film, as I love writing and working with a camera. Well, shortly after I posted that post, I signed up for film camp in Toronto and two weeks ago, I actually went. Le gasp! Sarah interacting with other humans! Le gasp!
It was such an amazing experience. I typically find it really hard to be with other humans for an extended period of time as I get really tired, but at the end of these eight hour days, I left the group of twenty six feeling energized and inspired. I got to work with amazing people and amazing equipment and it completely confirmed the fact that I should go into film.
Ten points to you if you can spot me.
Every day we did one or two little films and then attended workshops with guest professionals (one was the writer and producer of Orphan Black, another had shot music videos with Drake and was scheduled to film a movie with Donald Sutherland, another had just finished directing and writing her first full length movie, you get the gist).
We were split up on the first day into groups and in our little groups, we were to come up with an idea for a short film, write a script and then shoot and edit it. This was my group's movie. I got to write and direct some of it and act in a bunch of it as the main girl. Just a warning, my acting is not great. In fact, it's pretty terrible. The funny thing about this camp was that everyone was so much more comfortable behind the camera, so no one really wanted to act. Therefore, I was stuck with the job. I am not an actor. Don't judge. But enjoy. Because I really enjoyed making it.
It was an amazing experience and definitely one of the high lights of my year.
School. Co-op. Drama. Tears. Laughter. Late night bonfires. Exams. Parents. Stressing over the little things. Fighting. Games. Movies.
High school.
Guys, we made it.
We made it through what people say are some of the hardest years of our lives.
We made it.
We made it through the exams. The pressures. The seemingly constant drama.
And I'm so proud of you both.
I'm proud and honoured to have been your friends. To watch you grow and turn into awesome people. To get to know you as you changed and grew. You're both amazing. You're both gifted in different ways. You're both kind and I'm so happy to have had you both in my life.
And I'm excited to see what's in store for you next. Whether you're off to a different country or just to a different city, I have no doubt you're going to have an impact.
We have our lives ahead of us, like a blank slate, like a winding road, like a clear blue sky. Let's go do something with it. Let's go make something of ourselves. Let's go make a difference. Let's be the best we can be.
I'll miss you both. I'll miss seeing you at Co-op and having the ability to get together so easily. And I hope that this isn't the end of our friendship, but just another step of the journey.
So it's done! My music is completed. My album booklet and artwork stuff is all done. YAAAYYYYY!!!!!
Anyways, here's the artworky stuff.
The cover... oooh, ahhh.
The little thank you, speech-y thing on the inside of the cover.
Le picture of me opposite the speech-y thing.
Le track list one.
The picture behind the CD.
And the back! :D
So I'm kind of like uberly excited here and cannot wait to actually release this. You guys are getting like a sneak peak here. I haven't burned the CDs yet. :)
Senior year is stressful. I'm just going to put that out there. You have to do all your assignments knowing that their grades will be put on a transcript that has the power to possibly dictate your future education.
And then, there's the whole matter of University. You're supposed to choose what you want to do for the next four years and then, it's implied, for the rest of your life.
Now, I'm kind of lucky. I get to do my senior year over a year and half instead of a year, due to a wonderful friend who may have accidentally kicked me in the head and given me a concussion for six months. So, I'm currently reaching the end of my "official" grade twelve year. Next fall, I just have to finish up two or three courses.
But as I'm, well, me and I'm someone who likes planning ahead, the stress and need to plan things out has been immense. For the past year or so, I've been desperately trying to find a University that will let me study photography or film and creative writing together to contribute to one degree. You'd think it'd be easy, but noooo. Apparently, photography or film works towards a "BFA" (bachelor of fine arts) and creative writing works towards a "BA" (bachelor of arts). And that darned "fine" is getting in the way of me doing both together.
Then, about a week ago, about half past midnight, I had an epiphany.
Why don't I just do a BFA in film? It would let me work with my camera and do creative writing at the same time, just not under the name of "creative writing". And the University I'd probably take film at has the possibility of me taking actual creative writing courses and actual photography courses! Plus, it'd be close to home and I wouldn't have to fly all the way out to UBC.
I've done film projects before and I absolutely love making them. I've been writing scripts since I was about twelve. I've been filming people and skits since I was about ten, when my little kiddie camera didn't even have sound. So I don't know why it never occurred to me before.
This realization's got me feeling a little like this.
Anyways, a weight has been lifted off my brain and I'm kind of excited.
If you have any interest in looking at some of projects I've done, I've attached two videos beneath.
Happy October! I'm so happy it's fall. The trees are turning colours and it's rainy lots and I'm getting out my sweaters and scarves. *Happy Sigh*.
Today, as I'm doing my homework, my mind can't help drifting off to pleasanter places (5 points for alliteration). I just can't help it! Especially now that it's autumn and it's currently rainy and I can hear the sound of the rain hitting the window.
I think one day, I'd like to live in a row house. But not an ugly row house. A pretty one. Maybe like this one.
Or this one. I love the colours.
And I'd have a cat. I don't know why I'd have a cat, but it seems to fit. I'd drink lots of tea and wear my hair up in messy buns and wear lots of large sweaters. I'd have an old fashioned type writer and in the evenings, my friends and I would walk into the city to the little coffee shop that we loved and talk about literature or music or something wonderful. And there would be a little record shop around the corner from my little row house. Because of course, I'd have a record player.
Maybe there would be a guy with brown eyes who always worked there when I came in on Wednesday afternoons. And we might have the same taste in music and one day he'd give a recommendation and I'd invite him to our join coffee shop group and we'd become great friends. Great friends with endless possibilities of where we might end up.
Maybe it'd be New York. Maybe it'd be a little town in England. Maybe it'd be as close as Toronto.
On the other hand, I'd love to live in a cute little country house. Somewhere in Britain. Maybe Wales. I've heard Wales is nice and my ancestors are from there. Ooh, or Ireland.
A little house like this one.
Or this one.
During the days, I might work at the bakery that was a few minutes into town. Or as a part time journalist of the newspaper. Or a photographer. On my days off, I'd spend the days reading in all the little, cute corners my house would have, writing, visiting friends or walking the few acres that I would have as my backyard. I'd wear long skirts some days when I wanted to feel like Elizabeth Bennet, but other days, I'd just opt for leggings and a comfy shirt.
During the nights, I'd take my acoustic guitar and my song book and head to the small cafe or pub in town. The warm lights from the inside shining out on the streets. And I'd go in and play a set to a group of familiar and unfamiliar faces, maybe make a bit of money off the tips, maybe not. I wouldn't care. I'd just be happy to be playing my music and having a good time.
I'd have a group of friends there too. A group of friends that people would look at and wonder how we all managed to get along. We'd all be so different and we'd have our little squabbles and fights but we would all really love each other.
Maybe there'd be a guy, maybe there wouldn't. Either way, I'd be happy because it would be because I wanted it that way.
There are so many options! So many possibilities. Sometimes it's dreadfully overwhelming, other times I love thinking it through, imagining how it might turn out. What's the opposite of nostalgic? That's what I am right now.
Song of the Day
Lately, I've been listening to a bunch of Ed Sheeran. Well, more than usual I should say. Did anyone see his iTunes Festival performance?! Insane, just, there are no words. I mean, his Bloodstream performance?! Mind boggling. Anyways, I've been enjoying listening to this song as I drift off into la la land. It's so soothing and pretty and I love the voice his voice matches this song. It's probably my favourite version of "The Parting Glass".
I always thought when I got to this point in my life, I'd be happy.
University and College are on the horizon. I can finally get out and live my own life. There are so many opportunities that are starting to present themselves.
But to be honest, I'm kinda scared.
The majority of my friends are a year older than me; they're graduating this year and leaving. All of the sudden I'm not going to be able to just call them up, just hang out for an evening. Some of them are moving cities, provinces and even countries. All of the sudden, I feel so alone.
Because next year, there will be almost no one left. It's just going to be me in my little town with my family.
I feel like I'm on the brink of so many Goodbyes that I don't want to say. I mean, I'm happy for my friends, I really am. They get to go out and do what they've always wanted. I'm just sad that they have to leave.
And after I graduate, then what happens? When I leave, do I start over? Do I become a different person? What do I study?
All of these questions are terrifying me.
When I was younger, I used to dream about this time. I used to know exactly what I wanted and how I was going to get there. I guess I just never looked at the goodbyes and uncertainty.
We're all growing up so fast. Everything's moving so fast. People I've known since we ran around in diapers together, are becoming adults, going away to Universities and it feels like it's only been a few years.
I just want to hold on to what we have now. Can't we just pause life for a few years and enjoy it instead of rushing through it? Cause it seems that the older we get, the more complicated things are.
